I sometimes wonder how well people really understand me when I tell them how easily I get overwhelmed by the day-to-day.
I feel like most of the people I know are sympathetic in a commiserative way; that they feel like they know what I mean, and maybe even feel the same way – the, “hey, we all have busy lives/work hard/have a lot going on!” mentality.
They probably don’t expect that I mean, if I don’t set an alarm to take a shower or brush my teeth, it might not get done that day. Or that the accumulation of mess/clutter from daily activities will seem to sneak up on me, and then loom suddenly and overwhelmingly, making me feel incredibly anxious, but utterly incapacitated. Or that performing a multi-step task – even a familiar one, like cooking – sometimes makes my heart race and my skill crawl with impatience and agitation.
Which is why, when considering how to go about bringing order to my life, I had to consider the most basic, most fundamental levels of organization – the checklist.
My friends are over here with cross-referenced planners, digital calendars and mobile apps, elaborate bullet journals with color-coded spreads – and I’m making simple, laminated checklists. For things like “eat breakfast. Take a shower. Watch a movie.” Things that apparently integrate seamlessly into other people’s lives.
But not mine. And I have to accept that – that for whatever reason, this stuff does not come naturally to me. But that doesn’t (and shouldn’t) mean I can’t do it. It’s a massive waste of energy, feeling bad about how my brain is wired, instead of coming up with scaffolding I can build on to compensate for it’s limitations.
So, some people might think it’s a childish thing to have checklists for such basic stuff.
I’d say it’s a pretty damn mature thing, to go any length to ensure these tasks get done with any regularity.
So, I made some freakin’ checklists.
These are the easiest, most basic things I could think of to start with: routines to give me enough options to not feel trapped, yet not so many to incite choice paralysis, with a focus on developing habit and balance.
I’m still working on my lists for the deep clean I intend to do this month, and from there a more detailed daily/weekly chore chart to keep things in order. I may do one for meal options as well, since outside of dinner, I’m not currently planning my meals, and always find myself either out of food option, eating utter junk, or simply not eating, and none of those are acceptable options if I’m trying to be healthier.
This is an incredibly busy week, but I’m hoping to eek out time tomorrow and Thursday to write the remaining lists. I plan to start using these beginning Saturday – I’ll be printing out multiple copies and leaving one in my bedroom, and one in the kitchen (that’s one on each floor of the house, where I start and end my days).
Fingers crossed that these help. They certainly can’t hurt, right?