adhd · Personal Writing

Alarming Alarms

person touching black two bell alarm clock
Photo by Stas Knop on Pexels.com

I’ve never had a problem remembering appointments or tasks involving other people; I think my intense social anxiety and fear of letting people down has caused me to be weirdly hyper-vigilant in that arena.  No, it’s the more solitary, everyday sorts of things I forget – I forget essential items when I leave the house; I leave my bag behind in classrooms, restaurants, people’s homes; I forget to check on dinner; I forget to factor in time to shower or eat; I forget to pay a bill or a loan.

So I set alarms for the most mundane things; I have to. Pay Student Loan, Remember Work Badge, Time Sheet Due Today.  They’re generally effective.

Except I never actually deactivate them.

I could.  I should.  There is literally no reason why I don’t, except that, in the moment, when the alarm goes off, my first and only priority is to turn the damn thing off.  Swipe to dismiss, perform the task (usually; but that’s another story for another day), and then forget about the alarm.

Until, say, Wednesday at 10:15 rolls around again.  And my alarm goes off at work, and I have a small scale panic attack while I spend approximately 2.5 seconds trying to decipher what “FIND K. GIVE PAPERS” means before… dismissing the damn thing again and having the same exact occurrence the following Wednesday.

How long does this go on for?  I recently disabled an alarm set for Friday at 12:52 pm for some reason?  With the alarm name “STROLLER 4 ARISIA” which, ah, was January 18th.  So, what, seven weeks?  Yeah, so at least that long.

So yes, for those of you who ask me if I’ve “tried settings alarms” to help aid my ADHD, yes I have.  And yes, actually, they do work for me.

They just also wake me up at weird hours, disrupt my work shift, and randomly startle me in the grocery store.

Still, it’s better than forgetting my wallet or not submitting work hours.

You’ve gotta take the good with the bad, I guess.

 

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