So, The Big Clean has begun.
I am having a particularly difficult time accepting that, by dedicating myself to one room a day, the other three rooms (plus the full & half baths) are, more or less by necessity, temporarily being neglected. This, coming hot on the heels of the holiday, means that the rooms of the house not currently being worked on look like absolute hot fucking garbage.
They won’t for long, hopefully. My husband will tend to the dishes when he gets home, and take out the trash, and the house will be empty tomorrow while Andy is at work and Bear and I are visiting with my family, my sister, and her kids (which means, granted, The Big Clean will effectively be on pause tomorrow, but there will also be no one here to undo any of the progress). Saturday means no work for Andy, who is going to spend some quality time with Bear while I get to work on the Big Stuff, like the living room (Christmas Ground Zero), and the kitchen (I just discovered more than one instance of mold in the fridge, and I am still gagging internally).
I’ve been wavering today between feeling totally amazing and empowered — I actually love cleaning when I have the spoons, because I love having a visual cue for my accomplishments — and feeling hugely defeated, because with me preoccupied, Bear has had sort of full run of the house. Most of the day we’ve hung out together; he’s helped me out here and there, and sat by and played quietly when I didn’t need him and has generally been very good, but then he’ll disappear for a while and come back brandishing some Christmas loot that was definitely in a box with a hundred tiny pieces and, oh, Christ.
Still, that being said, his room is done and I feel so damn good about it.
Wiping down walls, filling up an entire trash bag with broken toys and old garbage, and two huge totes with old clothes, books and toys — my back is killing me, and I have my work cut out for me for the rest of the house, sure, but today’s effort were so worth it.
Tomorrow will be a nice respite, and I’m excited to see my sister and my niece and nephew, but I’m also pretty hyped about getting back to The Big Clean on Saturday.
I hope your days have been equally productive and satisfying.