I’ve been listening to this playlist the last few nights, when I’ve needed a bit of levity between mini-existential crises.
Today has been… rough.
Sometimes I feel like I’m being punished for wanting to live in a clean house. My husband is a pretty “woke” guy in a lot of ways, but he still wears the blinders of a cishet white man, and cannot see the inherent discrepancy in our household workloads. He is responsible for dishes, laundry, and finances (and honestly, I still often wind up doing the dishes, and his share of laundry is just the loading and unloading of the machine; I still gather, fold, and put away).
Literally everything else is on me. Now, he’ll do a task if I ask him to, but he doesn’t seem to get why that shouldn’t be a thing — why my having to ask him implies that Literally Everything Else is My Responsibility by default. Why asking him to help out suggests that he is doing me a favor, and not simply participating in the maintenance of his own goddamn household.
Argh, I don’t have the spoons to rehash all this right now. I got done quite a bit, though not nearly what I had hoped to. Part of that was a bad night, including an hour and a half of being kept awake by cramps, and then the general malaise that results from forcing yourself back to sleep when really, you’d completed a sleep cycle and probably would have felt better if you’d have just stayed up (even if it was 3:30 am).
As a result I got a late start. Hopefully I get a better night’s sleep tonight and can start tomorrow closer to eight, which was the goal, instead of eleven, which was the reality.
Before and Afters for the kitchen (still have a few dishes to do, and the floor to wash):
Tomorrow is the living room and the downstairs bathroom (bathrooms are easy; they’re small and get very regular maintenance, especially with a little boy who, uh, is still trying to master consistently Peeing in the Potty).
In a gesture of peace, because he doesn’t want to undo any of my work in the kitchen, my husband is taking us out to dinner as soon as the menorah burns down. Hopefully I can relax a bit and work on something for myself this evening.