Goals for 2020

First thing’s first, my daily sketch:
20200102_190544.jpg

This was about a 20 minute sketch, done while my soup was simmering on the stove (White bean and kale, if you’re wondering).  I was very happy with the proportions, as that tends to be what I struggle with most (I’m not saying it’s perfect, but it’s much better than my usual attempts, especially given the time frame).  Again, I have trouble with matching the values; I don’t go as dark on the dark, and the lights tend to be glaringly so; I attribute that partly to lack of skill, sure, but also I feel like if I had softer, more rounded pencils, I’d be able to do more fluid gradients of shading.  As it is, I only have my mechanical pencil, which is generally fine because I usually prefer to ink or paint anyway.

Today was my first day back to reality in two weeks, and I take comfort in the fact that everyone at work seemed as dazed and confused as I was.  I barely slept last night, but I was up with my alarm by 5:20, and eased into the day by brewing a cup of coffee, having a shower, writing up some brief morning pages and a to-do list, and listening to a favorite episode of Worst Bestsellers (which, if you like bad books, is highly recommended.  The episode I was listening to was their crossover with I Don’t Even Own a Television, another “bad books” podcast which I very much recommend.  I also may have a bit of a crush on  J.W. Friedman, but that’s neither here nor there).  Work itself was productive but overall uneventful (which, rest assured, is a good thing), but I am selfishly glad that tomorrow is Friday already, because the day also felt like it lasted several.

Anyway, I mentioned yesterday that, in addition to my bucket list goals (a living list that grows sporadically), I have some 2020-specific goals that I want to cast out into to ether in the hopes that it will help hold me accountable.

  1.  Consume more media.  Which, honestly, probably sounds weird, but.  If I want to produce content — poetry, painting, short fiction — I need to be consuming content.  That’s reality.  I tend to get into ruts of “Comfort listening/watching/reading” things: endlessly watching the same show, or listening to the same album (or, worse, song) over and over, ad infinitum (and nowadays, a lot of that is media is also directed at and intended for five-year-olds).  I don’t intend to stop that, per se (that’s also kind of part and parcel of my neurodivergence, I think), but I do want to expand past that.  Watch new TV shows, stand-up specials (which used to be one of my favorite things to do), listen to new music and podcasts, read new books and poems.  Speaking off…
  2. Read 50 books in 2020.  I used to do that, easy, when I was in college — not so much because I was reading books for school, but more that I was reading books to avoid the books I had to read for school.  Also, I had long waits between classes and not exactly a ton of friends (okay, like five, basically).  Now, with the ADHD, the kid, a full-time job, and other creative pursuits, I’ve let this slip and I want to rectify that.  Today I started Natalie Goldberg’s The Great Springmostly because I’d been musing about meta-writing, and I’d loved her Writing Down the Bones when I was younger.
  3. Buy people more thoughtful presents.  I don’t love how commercial the holidays have become, but I do like buying people gifts.  I especially love buying themed gifts, or handmade gifts, or just unique gifts in general, but I tend not to do so as often as I’d like because November rolls around and I suddenly feel the time crunch because I know the holidays will be here any minute and I just need to get things done.  Throughout the year, I’d like to make it a point to pick things up for people whenever I see something I think they would genuinely love or that would bring them pleasure, instead of making a mad dash to the mall two weeks before the holiday.  I also want to buy more secondhand, or from small businesses or independent makers.
  4. Take more photos of my loved ones.  I have approximately five hundred thousand pictures of Bear.  I have maybe a dozen of my husband.  Fewer of my siblings, and almost none at all of my parents.  Even photos of friends haven’t really been a thing for a while now.  I try to enjoy things in the moment, and made a conscious effort, years ago, to not go camera-crazy, but now I feel like I have no momentos of so many instances and events in my life, that I really want to strike a healthy balance.
  5. Do something special for my husband for Valentine’s Day/our anniversary.  (I just realized that sounded like I’m conflating those two dates; they are not the same day.  Our anniversary is July 17th).  My husband always treats me and surprises me in little ways on special occasions, and I don’t feel like I’ve ever really returned to gesture adequately.  I’d like to either buy him something special or treat him to a meaningful experience.  Since this’ll be our 10th anniversary, it seems like as good of a time as any.
  6. Return to a regular gym routine/eat more nutritiously.  I don’t do diets, especially diets that outright exclude any particular food or food group, but I do think eating reasonable portions, drinking lots of water, regularly exercising, and eating more of the “good” stuff is generally pretty solid life advice, and I should follow it.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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