16. Top of My Bucket List
Well, if we’re to go with the literal top of my literal Bucket List, it’s apparently “Learn ASL,” which is funny because it is literally the one things I haven’t touched or looked at in weeks (I think I might be logging off and rectifying that today. I’ve got at least three weeks with nothing but flexible, self-imposed household commitments). If we’re talking about my at-the-moment greatest ambition, it would be to have my art featured in a gallery (which I’ve taken steps towards; I know the world is crazy right now, but I hope they at least still go forward with art selection for when it is once again possible to stage the exhibition) and to small-press publish a collection of poetry. That ambition has been put off a bit for a lot of reasons, but who knows, maybe sometime during this weird hiatus from normalcy I’ll have the opportunity to take stock of what I have and figure out what I still need to pull together a coherent collection.
17. My Proudest Moment
This is hard, because I feel like it “should” be something momentous, like my wedding day or the birth of my son, but while I would assign any number of glowing descriptors to those two days — exciting, life-changing, thrilling, joyous — I wouldn’t say they made me proud. I am happy and grateful that I am in a marriage where I feel supported and comfortable in my own skin; I am proud of my son, but for the person he’s growing into, and at five, no single moment stands out. Though, I suppose there have been one or two moments when, after spending time socially among a group with my son, I’ve had one or two people approach me and tell me what I good job I’ve been doing; that they’d been watching me with my son, and commended me on my parenting. And I have to admit, as someone so consistently riled with self-doubt, especially regarding my abilities as a parent, that felt pretty damn good.
Well, I haven’t quite been at this everyday, which was the primary point of the exercise, but I suppose now it’s a matter of keeping on it as well as I can, and soldiering through to the end. I want to be warmed up and in good practice for next month given I’ll be doing two challenges (full disclosure, I may well begin prepping sketches for A-to-Z in the next few weeks, since I can’t prep for NaPoWriMo (I really do like trying to follow the prompt challenges), but still. Sitting down, logging on, and posting something is a commitment and a habit I need to develop.
Day Two of Learn-at-Home for Bear, though I think that’s an entry unto itself.
It’s Monday, y’all, and days are already blending into one another (though to be fair, I would occasionally end these posts with “It’s _________” just to remind myself what the hell day it was, so my slipshod recollection of the day can’t be entirely blamed on the lockdown. Keep yourselves occupied and stay social; reach out and say “hey.”