Ah, I hate to do it. But I think it’s for the best.
I am proud to have made it to April 20th; given the momentous shift my life (our lives) has taken in the last month and a half, I am incredibly and sincerely proud of anyone who has continued to create, especially for themselves, for the sheer purpose of creating, and I include myself in that; I’ve not produced the greatest work of my life during the past twenty days, but I’ve created something every day, and I have a lot of raw material to work and rework and build off of.
All this to say, I’m dropping both challenges, both A-to-Z and NaPoWriMo.
I’m planning on continuing drawing, painting, and writing, but I’ve opted to also take on several other projects that, with the addition of parenting/homeschooling and maintaining a household, is making the challenges a burden rather than a fun creative exercise. I still have several ideas I’d brainstormed for upcoming songs (from A-to-Z) that I want to follow through with — it just won’t be on the work-a-day schedule.
Good luck to those still seeing this through, and I wish you all a successful final ten days.
So: still behind. I have a sketch for “N,” but it’s 8:15 pm, I have no clear workspace, and I want to do an acrylic painting for this one, so I need to do some cleaning before I add that whole mess on top of everything.
That being said, another colored pencil drawing. No photo reference used for this at all, and I took a fairly literal approach to the song just because I wanted to attempt a drawing with a little more of a “dynamic” character, and I wanted to try to draw a figure with no reference. Success (to a certain extent) on those fronts.
I’m got Prismacolor Premiere in my Amazon cart, so I’m hoping that will improve my product. (Also I need to do a lot of work on foreshortening, yes, I know).
Odalisque
They’ve come to find you odalisque As the light dies horribly On a fire escape you walk All rare and resolved to drop
And when they find you odalisque They will rend you terribly Stitch from stitch til all Your linen and limbs will fall
Lazy lady had a baby girl And a sweet sound it made Raised on paradise, peanut shells and dirt In the railroad cul-de-sac
And what do we with ten baby shoes A kit bag full of marbles And a broken billiard cue? what do we do?
Fifteen stitches will mend those britches right And then rip them down again Sapling switches will rend those rags alright What a sweet sound it makes
And what do we do with ten dirty Jews A thirty-ought full of rock salt And a warm afternoon? what do we do?
Lay your belly under mine You’re naked under me, under me Such a filthy dimming shine The way you kick and scream, kick and scream
And what do we do with ten baby shoes A kit bag full of marbles And a broken billiard cue? What do we do?
Lazy lady had a baby girl, and a sweet sound it made
I’m perpetually behind, wee! It just wouldn’t be April if I wasn’t scrambling to catch up on at least one challenge.
I have plans to be caught up enough to post “P” on Monday (which means the following Sunday will have me caught up entirely), but that means I’m going to have to do a bit of spamming either tonight or tomorrow.
I really need to invest in replacing my finer tipped pens and getting pencils better than my son’s Dollar Tree set.
Micron and colored pencil.
Make You Better
I want you, thin fingers I wanted you, thin fingernails And when you bend backwards I wanted you, I needed you Oh-oh, to make me better
I’ll love you in springtime I lost you when summer came And when you pulled backwards I wanted you, I needed to Oh-oh, to make me better Oh-oh, to make me better
But we’re not so starry-eyed anymore Like the perfect paramour you were in your letters And won’t it all just come around to make you Let it all unbreak you to the day you met her But it’d make you better It’d make you better
I sung you, your twinges I suffered you, your tattletales And when you broke sideways I wanted you, I needed you Oh-oh, to make me better Oh-oh, to make me better
But we’re not so starry-eyed anymore Like the perfect paramour you were in your letters And won’t it all just come around and make you Let it all unbreak you to the day that you met her And it’d make you better Did it make you better? Make you better
And all I wanted was a sliver to call mine And all I wanted was a shimmer in your shine To make me bright
‘Cause we’re not so starry-eyed anymore Like the perfect paramour you were in your letters Won’t it all just come around and make you Let it all unbreak you to the days you met her But it’d make you better It’d make you better
As I mentioned, I had a massive “duh” moment and realized that I mistakenly thought I had weekends off on the A-to-Z Challenge, when really it was only Sundays, so I am already two days behind and am likely going to resign myself to being three days behind, because it’s 9 pm and I am exhausted. So expect two entries tomorrow for A-to-Z, and then one a day (including Sundays) hopefully from now one.
With that done, I also want to mention with regards to these challenges, I’m not necessarily trying to illustrate the song. I feel like I need to point that out. These are using the songs as a base of inspiration, and I can’t always pinpoint why a particular song conjures a particular image, but there you go.
I couldn’t find a Decemberists song (that inspired me, at least) for the “L” challenge, so I went with Fall Out Boy’s “Last of the Real One.” Micron and colored pencil.
The Last of the Real Ones
I was just an only child of the universe And then I found you And then I found you You are the sun and I am just the planets Spinning around you Spinning around you You were too good to be true Gold plated But what’s inside you But what’s inside you I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you But not as much as I do As much as I do, yeah
‘Cause you’re the last of a dying breed Write our names in the wet concrete I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me I’m here in search of your glory There’s been a million before me That ultra-kind of love You never walk away from You’re just the last of the real ones You’re just the last of the real ones You’re just the last of the real ones (You’re just the last of the real ones) You’re just the last of the real ones (You’re just the last of the real ones) You’re just the last of the real ones
I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision But only for you But only for you My head is stripped just like a screw that’s been tightened too many times When I think of you When I think of you I will shield you from the waves If they find you I will protect you I will protect you Just tell me, tell me, tell me, I I am the only one Even if it’s not true Even if it’s not true, yeah
‘Cause you’re the last of a dying breed Write our names in the wet concrete I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me I’m here in search of your glory There’s been a million before me That ultra-kind of love You never walk away from You’re just the last of the real ones You’re just the last of the real ones You’re just the last of the real ones (You’re just the last of the real ones) You’re just the last of the real ones (You’re just the last of the real ones) You’re just the last of the real ones
I’m here at the beginning of the end Oh, the end of infinity with you I’m here at the beginning of the end Oh, the end of infinity with you I’m done with having dreams The thing that I believe Oh, you drain all the fear from me I’m done with having dreams The thing that I believe You drain the fear from me
‘Cause you’re the last of a dying breed Write our names in the wet concrete I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me I’m here in search of your glory There’s been a million before me That ultra-kind of love You never walk away from You’re just the last of the real ones You’re just the last of the real ones You’re just the last of the real ones (You’re just the last of the real ones) You’re just the last of the real ones (You’re just the last of the real ones) You’re just the last of the real ones
Here’s how my mental state has been: I forgot that A-to-Z Challenge ran all month except Sundays. I thought it was all month, except weekends. So I am technically behind; I posted K today when I should be on M.
Which is not a problem, per se, because I can simply do an entry on the next two Sundays. But I thought — ugh — I’ve got to at least acknowledge my flub.
Look, I’m going to level with you all: I’m hormonal, I have monstrous headache, I fell behind on chore and challenges, and a new OTP has eaten my brain, so today I wanted something quick, cute, and kinda goofy.
With this being said, a quick (like, fifteen minute) micron sketch. (Also, I suck at facial hair, holy shit).
Stuttering (Kiss Me Again)*
It’s been, it’s been, it’s been, it’s been Su su su such a long time, long time, long time Since anybody touched me, touched me, touched me The way that you touch me
So if I stutter, stutter, stutter
Then I feel so so so unsexy So maybe I’ll just keep my mouth shut
at least until you kiss me
So kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this st st st st stuttering Kiss me again And ease my su su su su su su su su su suffering
I know I know
It’s so it’s so sy sy sy sy sy symbolic of everything Everything that’s wrong with me and you So tell me what I’m supposed to do
Oh it’s been ages since we’ve been really honest
But I can make ch ch ch ch changes if you really want this
So kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this st st st st stuttering Kiss me again And ease my su su su su su su su su su suffering
Kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this st st st st stuttering Kiss me again And ease my su su su su su su su su su suffering
* This song came utterly unbidden into my head as I was folding clothes, for no apparent reason. Haven;t thought about it in years. Incidentally, it was my custom ringtone for my husband when we first started dating.
Two challenges this month may have been too much, even under quarantine, since the realities of parenting and household maintenance don’t stop because of a pandemic (and as established, I do still have some work responsibilities, which can eat up a surprising part of the day).
That being said, I am caught up on NaPoWriMo, I just need to post, and I have yesterday’s A-to-Z ready to go. I haven’t done today’s yet (though I know what I’m doing) and I full-on skipped my “I” entry, to return to it on Saturday when I have spare time. I got a little overly ambitious with what I wanted to try and was not in the mental or physical/environmental space to actually realize it. So, this weekend, we hope.
For now, a return to some simple microns.
January Hymn
On a winter’s Sunday I go To clear away the snow And green the ground below
April all an ocean away Is this a better way to spend the day? Keeping the winter at bay
What were the words I meant to say Before you left When I could see your breath lead Where you were going to
Maybe I should just let it be And maybe it will all come back to me Seeing, oh, January, oh
How I lived a childhood in the snow And all my teens in tow Stuffed in strata of clothes
Hail the winter days after dark Wandering the gray memorial park A fleeting beating of hearts
What were the words I meant to say Before she left When I could see her breath lead Where she was going to
Maybe I should just let it be And maybe it will all come back to me Seeing, oh, Janu… Oh, January, oh
“I can’t,” my son says. “I can’t. We’re in quarantine.” The girl blinks, eyes blank. “It means we can’t play.” He fiddles with the doorknob. “Not until later.”
He closes the door, But peeks through the hanging shade. “I wish this would stop.”
In the yard next door, The girl plays with her cousins. My son watches her.
Day Twelve Prompt: The suggestion was to write a triolet, but I’ll be honest, I fucking hate triolets. This was something that happened today between my five-year-old son and his next door friend.
Sadly, I could not think of a Decemberists song for my “G” entry, but that doesn’t mean I get to skip. Just means I have to pick another band.
Today’s entry is “Go Places,” by The New Pornographers.
Micron pen and watercolor.
Go Places
Yes a heart will always go one step too far
Come the morning and the four corners I see
What the moral of the back story could be
Come with me, go places
And a heart will always stay one day too long
Always hoping for the hot flashes to come
For the glue to dry on our new creation
Come with me, go places
Come head on, full circle
Our arms fill with miracles
Play hearts, kid, they work well
Like classics play aces
Stay with me, go places
Once more for the ages
Yes a heart should always go one step too far
Come the morning and the day winding like dreams
Come the morning every blue shade of green
Come with me, go places
Come head-on, full circle
Our arms fill with miracles
Play hearts, kid, they work well
Like magic, play aces
Stay with me, go places
Once more for the ages
Come one now, come all ye
This story breaks free here
Tales from the back pages
From somewhere, Encida
Deus ex machina
Good morning, Christina
Come head on, full circle
Our path blocked but sure we’ll
Make records, then set them
Make copies, win races
Stay with me, go places
Once more for the ages
