OctPoWriMo, Day 20 (Poem 18)

ReclaimingI was actually kind of liking this poem until I had to do the couplets.  This is the challenge for Day 20, which was stopping time, with a suggestion of loop poetry as a form.  Loop poetry, I think, has potential for me, in some capacity, but not with the rhyming couplets.  God, I’ve really soured on rhyming couplets.

Anyway.  Here it is.

Childhood Flies 

The days are long, but the years are short;
Short pants creep above chubby ankles

Hands turning door knobs, opening doors
Doors that are out of reach no more

Little fingers tying fly-away shoes laces;
Lacing my fingers through his unkempt hair
Hair cuts and lost teeth, bicycles and braces
Brace yourself for the day he’ll leave, too soon

I willed those sleepless infant nights move fast
Fast moves the future, becoming the past

I want so badly to hold him still and make it stop
Stop the hands of time’s impatient clock

One day he’ll refuse to hold my hands
Hands tucked in his pockets as he crosses the street
Streets I walked him down, chasing his shadow
Shadow of the boy I loved in every sideways glance

He will always be my heart’s greatest love
Love withstands time, this I am sure of

I know he will not be this young forever
Forever my child, a bond time can never sever

This is for OctPoWriMo, 31 poems in (ideally) 31 days.  I’m behind, but I’m writing!  You should too, if the inspiration moves you.

OctPoWriMo, Day 17

ReclaimingHere’s something interesting: I decided to do today’s “madness” prompt, so I picked a form called a paradelle (which has an interesting history, having been originated as a joke/parody form), thinking “I’ll probably hate this, but I bet it would be well-suited to the subject matter,” and… I kind of wound up really having fun with it?  Who knew?

Anyway, here’s Wonderwall  the poem.


Sometimes I Cannot

Sometimes I lose my words, my tongue grown thick and dumb.
Sometimes I lose my words, my tongue grown thick and dumb.
My thoughts whir around like static on endless loops.
My thoughts whir around like static on endless loops.
Sometimes I lose my thoughts, like thick and endless loops grown static.
My words whir around on my dumb tongue.

I cannot feel for the numbness beneath my skin.
I cannot feel for the numbness beneath my skin.
A tremble in my bones like cold leeched in through floorboards.
A tremble in my bones like cold leeched in through floorboards.
The floorboards tremble; for numbness leeched in through my bones,
in like cold I cannot feel beneath my skin.

My senses can’t be trusted, they only betray.
My senses can’t be trusted, they only betray.
A seizing pain in my chest the only thing that’s real.
A seizing pain in my chest the only thing that’s real.
My chest seizing, trusted in only my senses
(Be they a thing that’s real). Only the pain can’t betray.

My pain loops on through, like my endless thoughts;
The numbness a thing that’s grown in my chest,
My dumb tongue seizing. I lose my senses, tremble and whir like thick static:
for only cold in my bones, leeched in around the floorboards;
Only I cannot feel real beneath my skin.
Words can’t be trusted.  They betray.

OctPoWriMo – get in on it!  Link ups are closed, but you can still write, write, write!

OctPoWriMo, Day 16 (Caught Up)

ReclaimingToday I opted into both the form suggestion and the theme prompt, so here’s a terzanelle about “falling.”

Pull Me Back

If life is a balancing act, then I,
I have always been one step from falling.
I need someone like you standing by

(When I hear the abyss calling)
Who can pull me back from razor’s edge
(I’ve always been one step from falling).

Those days when darkness drives a wedge
Between my mind and reality,
Who can pull me back from razor’s edge,

And offer me some clarity?
Help me navigate the space
Between my mind and reality;

Help me square up, face to face,
To the ghosts and voices in my head;
Help me navigate the space

And say whatever need be said
To the ghosts and voices in my head.
‘Cause life is a balancing act, and I,
I’m not yet ready to say goodbye.

OctPoWriMo is kicking my ass, and I’m trying hard to kick it right back.  Link ups are closed, but please follow along and write if you are moved to.

Friday, Fri-yay: October 5th, 2018

& (1)So, I think I’d feel worse about being “behind” on OctPoWriMo if I was actually behind on OctPoWriMo, but I’ve actually been working on some poems — I just haven’t been able to pull them completely together yet.  Tomorrow I’ll probably write up three separate posts for each of the entries (the two backlogged poems, plus tomorrow’s entry proper) but get myself back on track.  Weirdly, Inktober, which I expected to be so much harder, has been going really well.  Maybe because I’ve never, ever identified myself as a visual artist, and my expectations are lower?  Anyway.  This is a Fri-yay post!  Let’s yay!

Number One can be that Inktober is going well!!  I’m not a good artist, but I at least find myself sitting down and working on something everyday, and honestly, I’m discovering I’m actually not as hopelessly terrible as I thought, and maybe — through daily practice, even in short exercises — I can actually get better.

Number Two, The Good Place is back!  This actually should have been posted last week, but uhh, I fell off the bandwagon a little with posting lately (and so much else, but that’s another post).  We just finished episode three, and it is so refreshing to be watching a show where I look forward to speculation, but don’t want concrete, long-range spoilers.  I love that this show can surprise me, and that literally any plot twist feels very genuinely on the table.  Also, this show is a multishipper’s dream come true.

Number Three, I have a three day weekend with no plans!  I will probably clean, catch up on poetry, and online shop, which leads me into Number Four…

…It is the first week in October and I am about halfway done my Christmas shopping!  Which probably sounds crazy to some of you, but I’m so, so sick of agonizing over what to do and what to get, and I always wind up waiting until the last minute, and the holiday devolves into a stress-fest, and no thank you.  I love Christmas, and I have a young son; the holidays should be a fun, festive, relaxing time.  If I can be proactive about making that happen, I will be.

Number Five, I saw Hamilton last week!  I honestly don’t even know what to say.  The whole evening felt like a throwback to my theatre-geek high school days, where my friends and I (we went with my best friend and her boyfriend) get dressed, go to dinner, have a sleepover, go out to brunch — you know, we make the night An Event.  I feel like that doesn’t happen often anymore.  We all took the day following the show off, and went out for brunch at an Irish restaurant near our house, and it was damn near perfect.  The show itself was stunning, and the perfect culmination to a season of theatre.

What’s been keeping you in good spirits this week?

OctPoWriMo, NaNoWriMo, and Inktober

ReclaimingTomorrow is October 1st – what??  Can you believe it?  After the shortest summer of my life, I feel like the new school year just got underway, and now you’re telling me next week we’re issuing progress reports?  What is even going on?

Anyway, I’m not mad, honestly, because (as we’ve established) fall is one of my favorite times of year, and one of the few times during the year I usually managed to eek out at least a little time to be at least a little creative.  In years past it’s been NaNoWriMo – which I’m doing again this year, though in what capacity (I’m usually a Rebel), I’m not sure – but this year I thought I’d also try my hand at OctPoWriMo, which is October Poetry Writing Month, along with Inktober.*  I know, when I get ambitious I go all out.

Challenges – especially challenges with a set start and end date – tend to work well for me, because they come with an established structure and deadline, and both OctPoWriMo and Inktober have resources that provide you with the opportunities for daily feedback and prompts as well (yet more externally opposed structure and a chance for immediate peer validation?  Yes, please!)

Adding to that, this year my husband expressed interest in participating with OctPoWriMo, which adds an accountability/competitive aspect to it – I don’t want to slack off when I’m up against my husband (yes, I know it’s not actually a competition, but it’s a tiny fire under my ass, so I’ll take it).

I’m excited to start creating, and sharing with you all – I’ll be doing daily updates throughout OctPoWriMo on my side blog, Rarely Tidy Writing, though I’m not sure if/how I’ll share my Inktober progress (I’m still feeling a little self concious about my drawing abilities, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.)

Who else is participating in any creative challenges this October?

*I’m not an artist – like, I don’t draw, can barely handle stick figures – but I want to.  Inktober will basically be barely decipherable sketches in Sharpie, but I’m hoping it will at least lead to habitual drawing, which might someday lead to me actually getting better.